We women are the most beautiful creations of God-so much so that sometimes even near and dear ones “lose it” and start flirting with us. Only God knows what gives them the courage to take such gigantic risks, risks of being exposed and tainted relationships, apart from the definite guilt of flirting with a relative ever lurking in their conscience.
Be it any close relative or family member flirting with you, it is always so damn uncomfortable. It does make you detest otherwise elating family reunions. If your instincts say that he is surely flirting with you and not “just being friendly”, then you better start mending the mess and halt it ASAP. Here’s how,
1. Make your intentions clear from the very start.
You should sternly assert that his behavior is unfitting and that he must respect their relationship as relatives.
2. Mind your own body language
Turn your head or look away when he starts to flirt or uses come-hither signals. If you are naturally flirtatious (with everyone you meet), make it a point to lessen it with him.
3. Do not react positively.
Do not react positively when he flirts. On getting positive response, men usually assume that you are alright with them flirting with you. Relatives are men too. They, therefore, need really negative response from you in order to stop their advances. So make it sufficiently clear that you are not interested in him, or his talks. Try not to nod, laugh or comment. Be mean, if you absolutely have to.
4. But, don’t be overly mean.
It is probable that, by nature, he is coquettish with everybody, so he may get confused about your reaction. And your objective is not to cancel your relationship forever as relatives but to curb any unpleasantness. So the safest thing to do here is to keep distance and, at the same time, remain friendly.
5. Abandon him.
You simply do not have to endure him when you do not want to. Walking away from him when he crosses his limits is as clear a message to him as it can be. Keep your eyes open and steer clear of any possible situation where he can get to you and try to isolate you from others. Go talk to other people if you are in a social event and make it hard for him to get close to you again. Just try to abandon him. Shake him off your tail.
6. Be untouchable.
Any attempt from him to grab your hand or hug you should, without exception, make you utter these words: “Stop right away”. Withdraw and don’t ever let him touch you. And don’t ever be so foolish as to feel guilty if you walk away from him. By all odds, it is not your fault.
7. Your last resort
As a last resort, discuss the matter with other family members or relatives who you believe will believe you. If they don’t believe you, because of the incredibility of the notion, ask them to witness it themselves when you, and they, next meet him. That is, almost always, all it takes to put an end to the matter.
8. Follow up
After you have stopped interacting with him, try to discourage the past conduct in the future as this will send a mixed message and could elicit past behavior. Meet him only in group situations and maintain limited contact with him, if any at all.
Lastly, remember that the one single thing to your advantage in this case is that he is afraid of it all, too.